I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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