I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
