forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
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There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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