whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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