How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My balls are so social today.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
