So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize