If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
