Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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