So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
