and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
