What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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