Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
