I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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