honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
