Don't you send me to vm
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
