i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
