Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
