I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
