When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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