So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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