So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
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He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize