On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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