since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
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No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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