i jhust puked up my retainher.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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