if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
