I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
