yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
