a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I intend to get homeless drunk
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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