We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
