Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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