what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize