She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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