Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
