he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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