Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
