R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
