My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
