Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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