It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
