I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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