people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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