Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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