I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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