so explain again why im purple
no
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
