Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
