Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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