i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
