Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
