she woke up with a sticky ear
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize