dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Found the puke drawer
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
