Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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