dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Please, let me fuck your mom
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
