Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
