how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
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To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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