he puts the penis in happiness.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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