I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize