The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
