So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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