I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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