You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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