why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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