So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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