Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
