hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize