in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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